I’m going on a juice fast…for my future kids!

So, everyone who knows me has somewhat of an idea about my dedication to live healthy.

I was a fat kid, and I dont mean fat in a cute way. No. I mean fat in that frustrating way where you’re 10 years old and every shopping expedition ends in tears because the only pair of jeans you can fit into is a grown-up size 16.

I mean fat in a way where you could easily eat a couple of upsize burger meals, top it off with a few of slices of cake, and STILL be hungry.

Yeah, it wasn’t pretty.

Common sense and listening to the doctor gravely informing me that I was on the borderline of having Diabetes finally gave me a wake-up call. Also, I just wanted to be able to wear some nice clothes…in my own size!

I tried everything, but I was always looking for an overnight cure. There have been ups and downs, including my inexplicable need to go back to the unhealthy habit of bingeing-and-purging every now and then.  Eventually, I found my way back to the gym and a deep, long-lasting love for working out began to blossom. Till date, the relationship  I have with my treadmill has been the most constant one in life.

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Story of my life.

I am a happy 25 lbs lighter than I was 4 years ago. I love working out and challenging myself to do more and more. (This is where I usually start blabbing about Jillian Michaels, Insanity, Bharat Thakur yoga, etc etc). But now, I am in a rut.  Starting a brand new lifestyle in Dubai involves sitting in an air-conditioned environment for most of the day and travelling and roaming in air-conditioned areas.  I am used to walking and walking all day, going across campus for class, running errands around town in the heat on foot and rickshaw, working out all evening, and still having the energy to do more.

This new lifestyle, it’s so sedentary, it makes me want to cry.  Which I have started to do, alarmingly often.  Although I still work out regularly, I have to do twice as much simply to maintain my current weight.  It’s frustrating.  My love for food, already kind of shaky, is starting to fade altogether. Most days, that means not eating much more than a breakfast of cereal and coffee.

I know it’s not healthy, it’s the one major advice i give to all those who ask me how to lose weight and get healthy: eat, but eat right.  And because eating right takes a lot of effort, I choose to just not eat.  This has wreaked havoc on my digestive system to the extent where if I eat more than a few spoonfuls of ANYTHING, I start burping like a sailor.  (I don’t know if that’s a real saying. If not, it is now. Sailors truly are undignified enough to burp and belch without a care.)

My family expressed concern. Still I was adamant.  And decidedly NOT hungry.  However, a recent heart-to-heart with my sister finally struck some sense into me.

“How are you going to have kids?”

I didn’t get it. I figured I’d eat properly if I needed to then.

“But how?” she pressed. “You can’t even eat a proper meal without getting nauseous and sick.  How will you ever be healthy enough to get pregnant?”

I still didn’t get it.  It’s not like i was planning to have a kid right this minute.  She kept explaining.

“It’s been a few years.  You’ve lost weight but technically, you’re still not healthy.  You need to eat well. Your body may fit into a great pair of skinny jeans but it’s missing everything it needs to function well. You’re so deprived of all the essentials, how will you ever sustain another life when you are barely sustaining your own?”

It was true. I wasn’t sleeping very well lately. My hair has been falling, my nails are so brittle, they chip and break before they can even grow.  I’ve also been cranky, angry, and breaking out like a 16-year-old. Ew.

So, in order to give my body a boost of energy, and all the essential nutrients, vitamins and minerals it’s been deprived of, I am going to try out juicing.  I know, I know, the first reaction to this is always skepticism.  Mine was the same.  But after reading, researching, and speaking to people who have done it and succeeded, I am convinced this is going to be life-changing for me.

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All the ingredients needed to start the 7-day Juice Master tomorrow, yeayyy!

I won’t go into a detailed explanation of what the juicing involves exactly, you can read more about that here.  Ultimately, my goal isn’t to lose weight.  It’s to learn how eat well again, how to incorporate fruits and veggies into my daily intake without getting sick, and how to have a healthy, sustainable lifestyle.

I’d also really like to have shiny hair, again.

And, of course, I want to have babies.

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Carpe diem!

You go through life planning it in segments. Say your first word, learn to walk, learn to read and write, go to school, follow it up with university, graduate with good grades, get a stable job, marry someone respectable, die a peaceful death.

Everything is done just so, and the slightest disruption can have a catastrophic effect. You fail a couple of courses and the graduating with good grades part becomes harder, you fall in love when you’re not supposed to and you’re more resistant towards marriage, you stumble and break a leg and you have to learn to walk all over again. It is said way too frequently that life is full of ups and downs. But that’s only if you’re expecting your life to be one straight, monotonic line where even the smallest of things can catapult it in any direction. If, however, your life is already a colossal jumble of highs and lows, then any trouble that comes your way won’t have such an immense affect on it.

That’s how life is meant to be, not a straight line full of ups and downs, but simply ups and downs with little bits of uninterrupted lines in between. You can’t plan something that may or may not happen 10 years later, it would be delusional to do so. Basing decisions on days and weeks of weighing out the pros and cons may be the ‘practical’ thing to do, but where’s the fun in that? Doing that doesn’t mean you’re living, it just means you exist.

Grab a magic-8 ball and whisper your wishes into it, throw away your day-schedule and drive off somewhere far and unexplored, strike up a conversation with a total stranger and tell them your secrets, sing out loud in public instead of just in the shower, wear wacky shoes without worrying about how odd your feet look. Stop thinking and just be.