A Funny Facebook Message

It happens all too frequently that random men send strange messages to other random girls on Facebook. I don’t know if they think it’s actually a successful wooing technique, because trust me, its really not! Also, how many of these men actually expect a reply?? Here is one such message that was waiting for me in my inbox today:

im usman malik from islamabad but basicly from chakwal!
m in seeking of true frnd whom which i can share my wories and evry thng evry day so m usng facebook 1st time to find a true frnd you know yurs is my ideal name so m tring my luck!
would you lllik to be my frnd forevr?you know todays eid day and m feeling so alone to day my mama ji anda baba ji are too far from myself and also dnt loves me m sho much painful may we be a true frns?a frnds of wory if m able to be…..?cus m nt so rich
and thats my cel numb pleesh cntect 03145777777

A few things I found troubling with this message:
1. How can someone be from Islamabad but ‘basicly from Chakwal’ at the same time??
2. If you want to share your worries with someone ‘evry thng evry day’ , I’d suggest a therapist. And also maybe using Spellcheck.
3. I’m not sure if I’m flattered or disturbed that you think my name is ‘ideal’ for you. And oh you poor thing, luck REALLY has nothing to do with you trying here.
4. I actually would NOT ‘llik’ to be your friend forever, and can someone show this guy a calendar? Eid’s still about 10 days away.
5. Once again, I really am not the cure for your loneliness, a therapist or some pirated DVDs are what you need. And quite sly of you to pull the “im all alone, nobody loves me” card but ‘mamaji and abba ji’ REALLY? I dont know about you, but just reading this is becoming ‘sho painful’ for me.
6. I’m confused. What does ‘a frnds of wory if m able to be…..?’ even MEAN?!
7. Oh this is the cherry on top! Not only are you confused about where you’re from, suffering from horrendous grammar and spelling issues, as well as some sort of depression and loneliness maybe resulting from a parental feud, but you’re also ‘nt so rich’! Whattay catch!
8. Won’t be ‘contect’ing you, ‘pleesh’ try your luck elsewhere.

p.s a quick look at his profile reveals that he’s interested in both men AND women, really not picky are we?