‘A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe’

So recently, there have been all these little signs that remind me of Canada. I’ve spent some of my best years there, and no matter how long it’s been since I left the country, or how radically different my surroundings are now, there’s always going to be a part of me that wants to go back, even if it is just for a visit.

I found out Tim Horton’s is planning to open over a 100 branches all over the GCC. For those who don’t know or haven’t ever heard of Tim Horton’s, I pity them. It is THE place to get the best, cheapest, yummiest, frothiest coffee. A Canadian morning is just incomplete without a regular French Vanilla and a toasted bagel with cream cheese. YUM! And let’s not forget that the only way to feel better in the summer is by downing an Iced Cap. Don’t be surprised, summer DOES exist in Canada; just because the temperature only goes up to 25 degrees and doesn’t reach demonic levels of 40 and 50 does not mean Canada doesn’t experience all 4 seasons of the year. So anyways, hurrah for Tim Horton’s finally budging and agreeing to expand into the Middle East, I can’t wait to get my cup of joe in Dubai.

Then, the other night, I was whiling away my time in the common room (yes, it’s sad I know) because I couldn’t sleep and there was this really old episode of HIMYM on. I think it was from season 3 and it was all about Robin reliving her Canadian past because an old friend from Canada was in town. There were a bunch of jokes aimed at Canadians in it, and I loved that I actually understood them! For example:

Marshall Eriksen: Did he – and I’m trying to put this as delicately as possible – did he take your maple leaf?
Robin Scherbatsky: No, nothing like that.
Barney Stinson: Did he give you your first O Canada face?
Lily Aldrin: Were the two of you really Inuit?

The Innuit’s a classic one *snort*. And of course, in the Canadian flashbacks, Robin had a ridiculously exaggerated accent which totally thrilled me. It’s strange though, everyone says Canadians have a funny accent, but I don’t recall ever saying the word ‘about’ as ‘aboot’.

I suppose the Cricket World Cup had a lot to do with it as well. Canada qualified for it (big shocker, I admit) and it spread this warm and happy aura over me. Granted, the team just has about 2 actual WHITE Canadians and the rest are all Sri Lankans, Indians, Pakistanis, and Bengalis but hey, a team is a team! And sure, they’re not the most likely candidates to take the cup home, or even get through the first round, but I am proud of them nonetheless. In their match against Sri Lanka, their fielding wasn’t too bad and yes, they were all out for 122 but the positive part about that is that it was a huge improvement from when they last played against Sri Lanka. In 2003, Canada had been all out for 36! What I am really looking forward to, though, is the match on March 3rd: Canada vs Pakistan. I’ll be rooting for Team Afridi but I’ll still cringe and wince everytime a Canadian wicket falls. I am a living paradox.

I don’t wholly and completely support Canada in the World Cup; ultimately, my blood is green. Sure, I know the Canadian national anthem by heart and not the Pakistani, but at the end of the day, singing ‘Dil dil Pakistan’ will get my heart rate going and my pulse racing faster than when I hum along to Bryan Adams. Yes, I took this oath: I am a Canadian, free to speak without fear, free to worship in my own way, free to stand for what I think right, free to oppose what I believe wrong, or free to choose those who shall govern my country. This heritage of freedom I pledge to uphold for myself and all mankind. (From the Canadian Bill of Rights) but what I really believe in are the exact same rights and privileges that I have, or should have, as a Pakistani. The exterior and the accent are reminiscent of Canada, but the soul’s all Paki, yo

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