The lost cause rebel

There are times when the difference between what we want and what we can have is too great.  Our deepest desires take a back seat as the limitations of reality take control.  Is it possible to keep fighting, keep rebelling, or is there a point when you realise that it’s time now…time to let go?

Obstacles come in the way, they seem never-ending and each one turns out to be harder to cross than the one before.  You scrape your knees and twist your ankle and you try to get past them, and it works but the pain still lingers.  You can find a remedy, cure the curse, but the memory of the difficulties you had to bear with will always be with you.  Maybe what’s on the other side will satisfy you enough to make you forget, but maybe it won’t.  Maybe even then, even after you’ve beared all the crosses, there will be more disappointments to come.  How do you reconcile yourself to that?

If you have a hand to hold through the ups and downs, it helps you stay afloat.  But for the majority of time, you’re on your own, alone in the midst of a ruthless sea, with nothing but oars and your own will to carry your forward.  Will it be enough, is it ever enough?  You can never really be sure, you can never know for sure; certainty will elude you and indeterminacy will be your only true companion. 

There will be times when you’re overcome with exhaustion and all you can think of is forgetting about it all.  You will feel nothing but how tired you are, how much your arms hurt from rowing, how turbulent the waves are and how none of your efforts will lead to any positive results.  What do you do then?  Do you keep going, pushing away the hurt, the misery and the frustration or do you realise that maybe it’s time to stop?  You can weigh your options, and list the pros and cons, and maybe you can think about the shoreline you might soon approach and how glorious your success will be when it is finally achieved.  Or, you can do the exact opposite and surrender to the sea.

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