Holding her and loving you


All men cheat. Ok, lets be fair. 99% of the male population that inhabits this world partakes in infidelity.  The other 1%, well they’re gay, impotent, or just really lazy.

But really, at some point in their lives, all men cheat, whether its a one-night stand, an emotional attachment or a full-blown affair with late-night phone calls, work excuses and promises to leave the wife.  The saddest part about this situation is not the betrayal or devastation the wives feel, but instead the way they’ve kind of learned to accomodate this into their lives.  They’ve backed down, realised its fruitless and futile to put up a fight, and just resigned themselves to this fate, they’ve thrown in the towel and accepted it.  And, well, maybe it makes sense.  An unfaithful spouse has become such a common part of nearly every household that it no longer comes as a shock when we hear tales of infidelity and ‘the other woman.’  Our mothers, aunts, their friends, practically all middle-aged women have experienced the betrayal of a spouse, it’s become hackneyed and banal, chalked up as just another compromise you make as a woman, just another test of your patience, just another pedestrian part of adult life.

 I think, if something like that happens early on in the marriage, say in the first 10 years, then you need to read the signs, pack up your bags, grab the toddler and get out and take a chance at having a better life while you still can.  After 20 years, the kids have grown up, the sex is non-existent, and maybe you just don’t care anymore and are actually relieved that it’s not you who warms up his bed at night.  It makes me wonder then really, if the instituition of marriage really is as great as they say.  Looking at such scenarios, it seems to me that wedding vows lose their importance as each year goes by, the shared bond becomes strung out and weary, so much so that it no lnger seems like a deal breaker when you ease off your wedding ring and pretend it was never there in the first place so you can have sex or get involved with another woman, one who doesn’t share your last name, hasn’t had your babies, hasn’t been with you through the ups and downs of life for the past 25 years.  Someone who isn’t your wife.

At present, I can say that I would not put up with something like that, at all.  But then again, I haven’t exchanged wedding vows, or procreated and shared children with another man.  The way I see it, if he cheats once, he is just as capable of cheating again.  If he gets away with it the first time, you’re just making it easier for him to do it again.  You might as well take back the wedding ring he puts away in his pocket when he steps into that singles’ bar, and field his late-night phone calls yourself.



  1. where this comin from then?!!

    must’ve been bloggers angst not letting you think of anything else…cos i mean…really??

    and 99percent of men are cheaters? In which culture, which country? It matters a lot…and that statistic is hogwash!


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