Where is your heart?

Are you alive?  Is it beating rhythmically? Thump, thump thump.  Or has it adopted more of a sporadic tempo because of all those extra pakoras and samosas you love to devour, not to forget your lethargic attitude towards an active lifestyle? Tha-thump…thump.  Is it a healthy pink or a sickly persimmon?  Can you breathe easily or is each intake of air a battle you wage against yourself, a battle that leaves you panting?  Can you even climb the stairs anymore, or is each step a warcry that recommences your inner respiratory battle?  How can you live like this, do you even call this living anymore, or are you simply withering away, your core deteriorating day by day?

Has your heart turned to stone instead?  Does it resemble now something Michaelangelo might’ve used to sculpt the bust of David with?  Has it no life at all?  Where did it all go?  Did the young girl whose life you ruined take away your heartbeat, or was it the six lives you took when you decided to blow yourself up in the middle of the bustling bazaar?  The pulse of the market, the life that coursed through its alleys, did you resent that because your own body was devoid of it? Did you finally realise you were nothing but flesh and bones, hollow as a drum from the inside?

Or has it melted now?  Is your heart now simple a puddle of wax, defeated by the flame of what you call love?  What triggered the evanescence, was it the bouquet of flowers with the simple greeting cards signed “Love, “?  Did it turn your knees into mushy jelly before slowly creeping up your spine, and taking your heart by surprise?  Did you fight against it, resist it wildly, turn your body this way and that like a five-year-old fighting against an evil fictitious monster?  Or did you let it happen, your body sinking into a pile of feathers, the white light glowing over you, fading into you?  Did all the little expressions of adoration help push you a little further over the edge, did they drag your candle heart away into the fire and leave you with the remnants of what once was?  Are you hollow too now? Or are you finally whole?

Where is your heart?


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